Thursday, May 8, 2008

Who wants a DVD projector?

Nikko Home Electronics has created a DVD projector that looks, moves, and sounds like R2D2. It also has a remote control shaped like the Millenium Falcon. Specs include the obvious DVD and CD player, various memory card slots for cameras and thumb drives, and an iPod dock. R2 tilts to adjust the projection height, even up to the ceiling! The remote lets you drive him around the room too. This link will take you to a slow-loading flash ad, but it is so worth the wait. An additional device from Nikko is a little mini desktop R2 that acts as a wireless PC cam. This has got to be one of the coolest things ever invented! Oh, by the way, retail price for one of these is between $2,600 and $3,200. Probably worth it.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

The Apocolypse is nigh...

The sixth chapter of Revelations introduces the reader to what is commonly referred to as The Four Horsemen. Since the time of its writing, misunderstandings of John the Revelator’s analogies regarding the last days have lead to this prophecy being grossly romanticized in many apocalyptic themed stories and drawings. These four harbingers of doom have grown to encompass all the imagination can conceive regarding the end of times and more. You see, the problem with foretelling the future is that the revelator has only the present with which to draw reference. So whatever John saw that day on the Isle of Patmos was annotated with as much description has he could muster. But when we consider the tendency of nearly every prophet to write in allegory and symbolism, we are left to our own imaginings concerning their true meaning and portent. Until now.

I don’t intend to boast, but I have somewhat deciphered this particular revelation. And frankly, I’m surprised I didn’t realize it sooner. Let me cut to the chase: three of the Four Horsemen have been revealed. They embody all that will bring the downfall of civilization and mankind. They are immortal and they are among us now. You might know them as Barbara Walters, Martha Stewart, and Oprah Winfrey.


Think about it: is there any larger conglomerate of evil operating among us? I think not. Look at the legions of mindless lemmings under their command! Look at the power they wield! Admit it; even you have fallen under their spell from time to time. You may even be at their behest now. Sure, laugh this off. Go ahead and follow the crowd right off the cliff of free thought and leave more room for us rational beings on top of the food chain. But mark my words: when the fourth horseman is revealed, death – or more accurately, Hell – will follow.

I have scoured the recesses of my mind to ascertain whether or not the fourth is already among us, but this knowledge has been kept from me. I would be willing to entertain any one else’s thoughts on the matter. Though be prepared for my rebuttal – I have eliminated many candidates. All lack the sheer power and longevity of the existing three. There are however, a couple points worth discussion:

  • I don’t yet know the significance of the first three Horsemen assuming the guise of a woman. I also would not dare to assume the fourth is likewise a woman.
  • The fact that Walters, the first horseman, may very soon shed her mortality does not escape me. While the Horsemen are in fact immortal, their human guise clearly is not. Either Babs will live forever, or the fourth will rear its ugly head real soon. Either way – yikes.
  • I shouldn’t have to define the qualifications for the existing Horsemen, but for those who doubt, I encourage you to ask. I freely share what I know.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

What line of work are you in, Bob?

You know how sometimes people mumble, and you have to ask them to repeat themselves? Kind of awkward, right? Well awkward is something The Office thrives off of. Only this clip is not awkward...just one of my favorites.